It’s not all that uncommon. An 18-year-old gets pregnant during her senior year of high school. Except I never thought it could happen to me. In the fall of 2004, in Moon Township, Pennsylvania, I was crowned homecoming queen and had hopes of earning a college swimming scholarship. I was in a serious relationship with the high school football star. Life was looking pretty good. Until suddenly it wasn’t. I found myself facing the most difficult decision of my life – whether to become a parent or choose adoption. It was an experience that forced me to grow up, forever changed me, and still affects me every day.
This picture was taken on July 11, 2005 at WakeMed Hospital in Cary, North Carolina. I remember the joy of finally holding my newborn baby girl in my arms. The grief of knowing that I wouldn’t be able to keep her. The uncertainty of whether I would experience lifelong regret or if placing her in an open adoption with a family I had chosen would all work out for the best.
Thankfully, our open adoption did work out for the best. It hasn’t been perfect or exactly as I had planned, but all things considered, it has been good.
Today, I’m a thirty-something marketing professional living in Raleigh. I’m married to my husband, Aaron. We have three wild savages, Teague (7) and Hadley (5) and Lawson (2). The youngest got kicked out of daycare which led to our most recent adventure of becoming a host family to an au pair from Brazil! My birth daughter, Deanna, is a 18-year-old volleyball star who recently committed to playing volleyball in 2023 at the College of Charleston. We have maintained a relationship over the years, although mostly from afar due to being on opposite coasts.
My passion is to support birthmothers and normalize openness in adoption.
Life hasn’t exactly gone the way I had planned. But then, when does it ever? Disappointments litter our paths. Failures test our faith. And sorrows scar our hearts.
But the Bible reminds us that we are not promised an easy life. In fact, we know that we will go through trials and challenges. But they are necessary to refine us, to make us more like Christ, and to bring us closer to Him. An opportunity to know our God.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. – James 1:2-4
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us—they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady. – Romans 5:3-5
I hope you learn something new about open adoption through my blog and gain some perspective on what it means to be a birthmother and how to support them.
Thanks for following along!